Thursday 21 October 2010

Everything I can remember, I remember wrong

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If I am being horribly, brutally honest - unusual for me - it's all a bit nerve-wrecking. This. Again. I promise not to go on and on about it for the sake of a few badly-played violins but, you know, I almost completely disengaged from all things interweb. Aye, even Facebook. I still don't really know why. I was just feeling, well, a bit invaded. Not by anyone or anything in particular, just by a sense that I was losing it. I was losing it big time and losing control. I had become a parody of a parody of a parody. My life had become, well, a triple measure of the strongest spirit you can drown in - a large gulp of Jackie Leven, mixed with a dash of H. G. Wells and finished off, literally, with a headache-inducing nip of Withnail, actually. Chin Chin! The thing is. I don't think I ever really got over a particular night, Friday November 2, 2007 to be exact, when after witnessing this band play at the ABC I... well, I suffered (not to be too melodramatic). The detail isn't important. Not now. Suffice to say I had something of a turnaround. In fate, circumstances and possibilities. I thought things might get easier, or rather, not easier but less complex. And they did in some ways, but not in others. That's the way of it, right? The sweet and the sour. Sucking on a lemon. Like that song puts it. Anyway, sorry, the point is that in a non-glib way you do the best you can and get on with it. I don't mean that to sound like such a tired cliche it's a relic in an ancient vault in the oldest museum you could possibly know, circa 1707 rather than 2007. You just get on with it. Life does not stop, it's a constantly jiggled snow-shaker (is that the technical term for those things?), though sometimes the snow is replaced by sun, sea, sky, for sure. Like, the other night. Entirely unexpected, I bought my eldest son his first pint. At a gig (it was The Unwinding Hours at Oran Mor). He turns 16 in January, but is already going on 21. As I approached the bar I asked him if he wanted a coke or whatever. He looked me dead on and said 'A Guinness?'. I met his gaze and said, 'Right you are. Stand back from the bar. Do not tell your mother.' And then I realised it had happened. I had fucking moved on. And it would be my turn soon. Forty years old, at midnight as a certain train rolls into town to play at... the ABC. In five days. And you know what. I am genuinely excited. I need to grow up a bit. And I need to learn to face, to play, The National again. It's an encore that just needs to happen. For 'Mr November' is actually a girl in a red top, staring up at you, with love in her eyes.
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iLiKETRAiNS - 'A Father's Son' (3.26)
The National - 'Daughters of the Soho Riots' (live) (4.40)
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Platform 9 + 3/4 is, in fact, over here. Album pre-order here. Oh, and watch this. And feel a little sad.
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PS, Yes, this is my way of apologising for being so AWOL. Sorry about that. I had reasons though, you know?
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7 comments:

  1. There are so many things I want to say...
    But I feel a "Cheers" would be the most appropriate at this time.

    p.s. both of these selected tracks pull on my sensitive strings. perfection. xx

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  2. A hearty "cheers" is actually kinda perfect. Thanks R. For far too long this was the only track by The National I could listen to. I love this live version, in particular, as the closing whispery sing-a-long just melts me, totally. It is wonderful. x

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  3. it is ironic that there are so many songs that i just can't listen to at times.. i am just not ready for them. The National, Mistake for Strangers is one such song... the new Deerhunter may quickly become such a thing as well... to freaking beautiful (IMHO)

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  4. oops the last comment was me... my goofy son now has his own blogger account and his own gmail, he keeps using my computer to do his goofy thing (mine is 12 however)

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  5. Yes, agree - the new Deerhunter songs are almost as good as that no-footed bar spin you pulled off at the skate park last fall on the scooter! Oh wait, it is you Juan. No matter... :)

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  6. I've unplugged a bit (well, a lot) this year too. But I'm beginning to get twitchy fingers and my sense of humour back, so will be back in the saddle soon.
    Oh, it is good to have you back.
    X

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  7. Thanks Beth, it is good to hear from you. Yes, music has that way of pulling you back up, grounding you. I hope those twitchy fingers get to a keyboard - soon as you feel ready and able to get going. Saddle up, sister! :) x

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