It's now entirely frustrating. This stumble and trip along the economised frozen pavements. And occasionally I let things out and say too much. Whether in an e-mail (not sent) or several text messages (sent). You know someone could be hurting, in a situation and place that renders them a bit lost and sad. And yet you can do nothing, in a direct way, to help (by which I mean, make yourself feel better by attempting to reduce the crippling guilt etched into your soul - jealousy I have never known in my life, but guilt, oh my, best friends forever, like). A distance needs to be kept, across the coastlines. Aye. Despite what I said earlier, our day-to-day dealings can get a tiny bit complicated when you have to be a grown-up and submit to a past event that still scars you. You choose to sacrifice yourself, your own needs, for what you think is the greater 'good' and an as yet unwritten future. But is it? And what are the costs? Will she not hate you for making her grow up in a house devoid of love and for you, her mother, having so many regrets so clearly on display? Fear of change is the very worst reason for doing nothing. And I honestly think Kip might have some answers, or at the least some suggestions, about righting such a wrong.
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The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - 'Heart in your heartbreak' (3.47)
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The Pains are getting away with breaking hearts close to here. You can pre-order the new single from Insound. It's released on December 14th. A perfect gift, I'd say.
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[NB: link to MP3 file removed due to DMCA notice]
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