Saturday 26 November 2011

Hiding in spotlights, not running in shadows

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It's that thing. If I lose you. Again, and so it goes. Stumbling in, falling out.... payday loans are 'Go' in this day and age. Grim, grin... and bear it? No ta. Just like me in this 'visual world'; those ghostly moments of rage, fear, sadness. Tears and the end of time; wheeched away on a Megabus to who knows where. Poundland? Iceland? Where the jumble sale mums go to meet the boil-in-the-bag dads, Brett. Time travel with you beats the odds. In annoyance and irritation of your behaviour, at my ineptness - not knowing what to say or do. You are not her. And she is not the sum of me. Checking the small print for a money back clause. But this is not Argos or even Cash Convertors. Chains broken, head kicked in to awaken from this annual coma. The caustic code isn't written yet as so little is unfamiliar here. Making the familiar strange. But getting stuck on the strange, whilst wearing high heels on a hill pointing downwards. It's an anger based on pain, of insomnia; finding the few, Freud words to ask for assistance. Help is a four letter word though a free prescription is another helpful contribution to this cause not yet lost. It spirals on. What year is this anyway? It's hard to tell if you flick the channels or scan the frequencies. The headlines I remember. It's the same every week. Sink or swim, buying fear, selling souls. You wake up again at 3am, havoc on your mind, and count a pretty blessing that the light is still vacant and out on a date in Germany circa 1972. Prince - the artist - keeps you company as he becomes a butterfly yet again; a slave no more to his poplife <3. Too. Much. Knowledge; information is a fire alarm that won't cease calling you out at inconvenient times, taking names. Snapping and digging and... true, a deep sleep is hard to come by these fallow days. The frightened sirens are set to stun and singing a lonely duet with the drunks rolling past screeching their merlot harmonies in a fake Gregory Italian accent. Bella. Bella. And all that. Or so you think with your ears blocked, your eyes glued shut. No matter how fast you blink reality still heads for the last subway home. And the rain - ah, the pitter patter of rain steering a boo-hoo path down his cracked, shoogily face - it pours over a legoland new town. The stop/go music it plays on repeat in spoken, reverential verse. Thank-you, she says. I accept your challenge of a warm embrace; this invitation South. Rewinding to take it all in - these last six months. Where did it go? Where will it go next? Something is up. Some leave, others stay. All the while Jackie waits on the other side of Poortoun for his lost and weeping children to come home. To roost.
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Life Without Buildings - 'New Town' (5.54)
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It's happening again. No where to go.
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7 comments:

  1. Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

    coiln, schmich would be proud when i read this i thought of her i have to say i will be reading for days one of your best incoherent ramblings yet loved it i have missed your words be more regular please.

    son of the rock

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  2. Thank-you but was just wandering a bit with words there, fiction to faction, in time to the beat of the music; one should never take anything I write, or say, too literally. Especially when I am a little emotional (which is often just now). That would be an error.

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  3. It is the general randomness that makes it entertaining and the occasional times you send us to wiki for a reference I have to say the only time I have followed you was to read the dice man & now no one trusts me !!!!!!


    Son of the rock

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  4. Ah, yes. Reading (and living a life according to) 'The Dice Man' will do that. Low levels and small doses, my friend. :)

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  5. Rambling, emotional is appreciated most of all. CTST is on hiatus but I hope we can still correspond. You are sorely missed.

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  6. Indeed, Gen - I owe you some words. Hope to see CTST back shortly. Take care. x

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  7. Footnote: Actually, I read this back again - just now - and it makes perfect sense. To me at least. I don't think I have seen things so clearly in years.

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